The Super Mario Galaxy Movie review: The furthest thing from super

Nintendo President Shuntaro Furukawa recently mentioned that one of the guiding principles of Nintendo’s business strategy was to “grow the Nintendo IP fanbase”. Mario can’t just rest on his laurels; being the frontman of the best-selling game franchises of all time, he’s also got to go further and sell tickets to movies, theme parks, and tie-in merch.

The Super Mario Galaxy Movie is the latest broadside from Nintendo’s marketing division, weaponizing Illumination to try to get the same lightning as the billion-dollar The Super Mario Bros. Movie. 

Whether the vapid, soulless, perfunctory series of references and bits they’ve come with is what they had in mind remains to be seen. You can probably already tell I’m not here to sell the film to you, but keep reading to get Kyusai’s full rundown on the mess that is The Super Mario Galaxy Movie.

Less than peachy

The set-up is as fast-paced as the rest of the film. Bowser Jr. kidnaps Rosalina right at the beginning, and Peach jumps at a chance to rescue her, heading to the stars and leaving Mario back in the Mushroom Kingdom.

In what is possibly the only interesting decision, Peach is set up to be the central protagonist. Mario and Luigi are secondary to the plot, allowing Peach to frame herself as a go-getting protector, throwing hands to get what she wants. 

Yes, she’s still not given the spotlight. Even when Mario and Luigi have nothing to contribute, they’re still at the center of the main conflict, just because they keep failing forward. They fail forward at breakneck pace through a series of misadventures, bouncing between scenarios with no agency or purpose.

Nothing is ever given space to breathe or room to develop, so a lot of things happen, but it feels like nothing matters. It doesn’t help that most of the characters barely feel like characters. Chris Pratt is lifeless as Mario, but the script doesn’t give him much to work with.

Every actor is wasted. The first Mario movie went through all the heavy lifting for audiences to accept these characters, and now no one has anything to say or think. There are no highs or lows for any character; they’re just here, with nothing to get invested in or latch on to.

Even when character relationships are meant to be developing, they’re not actually given any focus. Apparently, Mario is meant to be looking to woo Peach, but they’re never on screen together, so why would anyone begin to care? The film is too busy trying to make clips for the trailer and bouncing between different worlds to explore motivations.

Koopa’s in the cradle

Yoshi is one of the particular low-lights that signal just how little The Super Mario Galaxy Movie cares. He shows up at the beginning of the film, never matters to the plot, and then justifies the film’s worst impulses. Yoshi doesn’t talk, so he lends perfectly to wordless scenes of weightless slapstick.

Bowser, who was the highlight of the first film, is certainly still about, but feels like a lingering ghost. His character is all over the place, with arcs that seem to be developing a point, only to collapse under the weight of the film’s apathy.

There’s an idea that threatens to emerge of Bowser feeling bad about being an absentee father, and there is a general theme of distant family in the movie, potentially linked to Peach’s initial emotional beat of never knowing her own family.

It just doesn’t go anywhere, though. Sure, the story will resolve the points, but the threads never connect, and there are no proper beats. As with the rest of the film, things just happen; there’s no tension or reason to care. 

It’s all so rushed, like it knows it needs to have things happen for it to be a film, but they’ve no idea how to make anything substantial. It’s all an excuse to get to the different action sequences, which is where The Super Mario Galaxy Movie is at its best. They’re flashy and extremely well-animated, mechanically very well done.

However, it’s just too cartoony. There’s no chance any of the characters are under any threat, so it just becomes noise. There’s a lot of movement and colors on the screen, that’s for certain, and plenty of small bits of choreography, but it just feels like treading water until the film feels like it can justify moving on.

Not even the film’s attempts at humor can make the time pass a little faster. Sometimes there’s the occasional good joke, but then they get immediately undercut by another joke trying to underline how funny the first joke was. It just gets its own way and wastes time.

Greed is good

Most of what The Super Mario Galaxy Movie has to offer is references. Endless callbacks to different Mario games, other Nintendo IPs, and the previous films, it’s endless. So many different kinds of references, in fact, that it barely earns the Super Mario Galaxy title. It’s got just as much Odyssey content, after all.

It all really feels too much when Fox McCloud wanders into the film and seems to have more backstory, motivation, and character than most of the core class. He certainly has more lines than Rosalina, which feels downright criminal in a Galaxy movie. It’s too self-indulgent, too clearly signaled to try to introduce Fox as a brand to the kids in the audience.

I don’t even mind that the Mario movies are just adverts. Nintendo can propagate its IP all it likes, but how much more effort does it take to make something actually worth watching? The Super Mario Galaxy Movie has put in so much effort to look and sound good, yet it is a flimsy facade around an absolutely empty experience.

The Super Mario Galaxy Movie has no reason to exist, and if it succeeds, it will just showcase that neither Nintendo nor Illumination needs to try. They can keep making their low-effort, reference-heavy slop and still get the result they want. It’s not just a bad film; it’s a bad precedent and a bad sign for the level of quality control surrounding the upcoming Legend of Zelda movie, slated for next year.

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